Epilogue: The Dark Duet Read online

  Epilogue:

  The Dark Duet

  CJ Roberts

  1st eBook Edition

  Copyright © 2013 Neurotica Books LLC, CJ Roberts

  All rights reserved.

  ******

  eBook Edition License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to others unless a separate copy has been purchased. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2013 CJ Roberts, Neurotica Books

  www.aboutcjroberts.com

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  Photo credit: Yuri Arcurs

  Cover design: Pixel Mischief

  www.facebook.com/PixelMischiefDesign

  Edited by: Emily Turner ([email protected])

  Also by CJ Roberts

  Books and Stories by CJ Roberts

  Captive in the Dark (The Dark Duet, Book 1)

  Seduced in the Dark (The Dark Duet, Book 2)

  Epilogue (The Dark Duet, Book 3)

  Stories by Jennifer Roberts

  High Stakes Nikki (Sexy Shorts)

  Manwich (Sexy Shorts)

  Seducing Sunshine (Sexy Shorts)

  Books with contributions from Jennifer Roberts

  Sin City: Six Scintillating Stories (Anthology)

  High Stakes Nikki

  Some Like it Bi (Anthology)

  Seducing Sunshine

  For Caleb’s Kittens

  And their Tomcat

  Table of Contents

  eBook Edition License Notes

  Also by CJ Roberts

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  There was only one thing the void wanted. Greedily tearing me apart, it asked for Livvie. It wanted my hopes, my dreams. It wanted my memories of her face. It wanted the laughter we had shared. “Mine,” the void had decreed. Only Livvie could make me whole, and as soon as I had realized it, I couldn’t stop looking for her.

  -- Caleb

  Chapter One

  I’m writing this because you begged. You know how I love the begging. In fact, you probably know too many things and know them far too well.

  It’s been a long time since Captive in the Dark; today is Friday, February 8th, 2013. In May it will have been four years since I sat in a tinted sedan and contemplated kidnapping Livvie. I’m twenty-nine now and I finally know it for a fact. Sometimes I wish I didn’t because I have to face turning thirty in August. Livvie is eight years my junior, but you wouldn’t know it by the way she talks to me sometimes (I think she just likes getting a spanking). Livvie and I have changed considerably from the people you read about. However, because you begged so nicely, I will endeavor to tell you the story you want to hear.

  Before I move on, a word about names. They were very important in Livvie’s books and it’s worth mentioning. Shakespeare asked, “What is in a name?” I can tell you—a whole hell of a lot.

  Livvie is now named Sophia. She changed her name when she entered the witness protection program in the United States in exchange for her testimony against her kidnapper and rapist (that’s me).

  However, you know her as Livvie and so I’ll continue to call her that for your benefit, but of course, that would beg the question: Who am I?

  Am I Caleb?

  Am I James?

  I’ve often asked myself this very thing and have always come up with a different answer. Perhaps the only truthful answer is, “I am both.”

  Caleb will always be a part of me—probably the largest part. I want to be James.

  James is a 29-year-old from Oregon. He was raised by his mother and always wondered about his father. He grew up with respect for women but also a need to display his masculinity to make up for his lack of a father. He went to college but took time off before grad school to go and see the world. He met Sophia at The Paseo de Colon and fell instantly in love.

  James never met anyone named Livvie. He never hurt her.

  We know different. We know the truth. So, for the purposes of this story you begged me to tell—I am Caleb.

  I am the man who kidnapped Livvie. I am the man who held her in a dark room for weeks. I’m the one who tied her to a bedpost and beat her. I’m the one who nearly sold her into sexual slavery. But, most importantly, I am the man she loves.

  She loves me. It’s quite sick, isn’t it?

  Of course, there’s more to our story than can be surmised in a few short sentences, but I’m at a loss for justifying my behavior back then. I assume if you’re reading this, I don’t need to make those justifications. You’ve already made your own.

  You’re reading this because you want to know about the rest of the story. You want to know what happened that warm summer night in September of 2010, the night I met Livvie at The Paseo. It was the night my life changed all over again.

  It didn’t happen exactly as Livvie said. She’s been very kind to me in the retelling of our story. The truth is far more… complicated.

  Livvie would have you believe we kissed and it was all that needed to be said.

  I wish it had been so simple. The part about the kiss is true. She kissed me. It had been a year since we touched. A year since I’d watched her walk away. An entire year since she killed for me and I repaid her by dropping her off at the Mexican border covered in blood. She kissed me and my head did swim. I can tell you unabashedly, it was probably the happiest I’d ever been before.

  Then she slapped me. Hard. I think my head vibrated.

  I remember holding my face together and thinking, “I’m going to jail now.”

  “How could you?” Livvie asked. I could hear the pain in her voice and it gutted me.

  I believed she’d moved on. She’d made a life and I’d come along one last time to fuck it up. It was the minute that would never end. In that single minute, I replayed Livvie’s and my time together in my mind and I berated myself for ever thinking she could forgive me for the things I’d done.

  “I won’t run, Livvie. I’ll let them take me and you’ll never see me again.” I couldn’t meet her eyes. I’d been dreaming of her for so long, imagining her face smiling at me. I couldn’t bear seeing her disgust toward me. I didn’t want to remember her that way.

  Slowly, the longest minute of my life ticked away. I couldn’t hear any sirens; there weren’t any men slamming me to the ground and putting me in handcuffs. It was strange.

  “Never see you again? How stupid could you be? You can’t just walk into my life and expect to leave me again. I won’t let you, Caleb. Not this time.”

  And if you can believe it… she slapped me again.

  “What the hell is wrong with you? Stop hitting me!” Livvie was a blur. She hit me so hard my damn eyes were watering (I was not crying—eyes water. I think we all know I’m a badass and I don’t cry). After I cleared my eyes, I could see the
anger in hers, the hurt… but also her longing. She longed for me. I knew it only because I could recognize her face as a mirror of my own.

  “How could you leave me, Caleb? I thought… I thought you were dead,” she cried. She wrapped her arms around my waist and held me tight. It felt so good to have her in my arms again, I couldn’t think of anything but the feel of her against me.

  “I’m sorry, Livvie. I’m so sorry,” I whispered into her hair. I couldn’t believe I was with her again. I can’t even describe it to you. Suffice to say, if I’d died in that moment, I’d have been fine with it.

  We stood there for a long time. She held on to me. I held on to her. We said things with our silence we couldn’t put into words. I suppose that’s what she meant by, “it was all that needed to be said.”

  I felt all the things I could only have felt with Livvie: hollow, and simultaneously, full to bursting.

  “I’ve missed you, Livvie. I’ve missed you like you wouldn’t believe.”

  I don’t know how long we stood there holding one another as tourists passed us by. We were simply another couple, enjoying the warm evening together. No one knew who we were or what we had been through to get to that moment. However, even in that elegantly prolonged circumstance, I knew it couldn’t last forever. I had many things to say to Livvie. I was afraid of the things she might have to say to me.

  I felt her shaking in my arms, her shoulders quaking against my chest, and I knew she was crying. I didn’t hold it against her. She was more than entitled to her tears. I, unfortunately, couldn’t express myself in quite the same way. So much had happened to me in my life. I’d cried all the tears I had in me to weep. All I could offer was strength. I could be strong for her. I could hold her, rock her, and shield her from the dozens of eyes around us.

  The women glared at me as they passed. “What did you do?” their eyes accused.

  The men sent pitying glances or condescending smirks my way. “Sucks to be you.”

  I ignored them. They weren’t worth my attention.

  “Can I get us out of here?” I asked. I felt the gentle nod of Livvie’s head against my chest. I pulled back slowly, not sure if I was prepared for what might happen next. Suddenly, it didn’t matter. Livvie looked up at me, and even with tears in her eyes, she smiled. I had been waiting a long time to see her smile. It had been worth every horrible second I’d been without her.

  “I missed you too. So much,” she whispered and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry. It’s just… it’s so fucking good to see you!”

  And then I smiled. I took her hand and we walked. All around me, life seemed surreal. I’d have thought I was in a dream were it not for the way my face stung. I was tempted to mention it, to make a joke of some kind to break up the tension just under the surface of our joy, but I opted to say nothing. Livvie was with me and it was all that mattered to me.

  “Did you drive?” she asked.

  “I did,” I replied somewhat awkwardly. “It was optimistic, I guess. I figured either it would be my last opportunity to drive the streets of Barcelona, or I’d be driving you back to my place in style.” I laughed half-heartedly. The longer it took to get to my car, the more awkward the situation became.

  Livvie stopped walking and I jerked to a halt.

  “I don’t think I’m ready for that… Caleb.” She looked around as if making sure we weren’t alone. She slipped her hand from mine.

  I tried not to let it bother me. Of course she’d be frightened to go anywhere with me, but it still stung. I tried to smile as sincerely as possible and shoved my hands in my pockets.

  “We don’t have to go to my place. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. I just… shit, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”

  Livvie gave me a weak smile, the kind that didn’t reach her eyes. She looked so beautiful, and so sad. She looked just as I remembered.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been a wreck for the last four hours, just dying to get here so I could see you and now…” She crossed her arms around her stomach and lifted one hand to pull at her bottom lip. It was one of those gestures she made unconsciously and I remembered it well. It reminded me that no matter how much she’d changed in the last year, there were things about her that would never change.

  It was only natural for her to wonder about the ways I hadn’t changed. Frankly, it took every ounce of my self-control not to grab her and abscond. I had come so close to having everything I wanted, and in a split second it seemed things between Livvie and me would end before we even got to the car.

  I suddenly didn’t trust myself.

  “Maybe... this was a mistake?” I edged. I wanted to give her the choice, but I wasn’t sure I could bear to hear the answer.

  She closed her eyes and squeezed herself a little tighter. Her brows knit together in what I interpreted as sorrow. Her head shook slightly from side to side.

  I took it as a good sign. Her tells weren’t choice—they were instinct. It thrilled me to know her instinct was to deny any possibility that meeting me was a mistake.

  “I know what I want, Livvie. I want to be a part of your life again. I know we can’t start over. I know you have every reason in the world to want me dead, but I—”

  She placed her hand over my mouth.

  “Don’t. I’m not ready for that either,” she said. She almost seemed angry with me.

  I can never overstate the depth and beauty of Livvie’s eyes. I can stare into them forever, until I forget my own name (which, let’s face it—wouldn’t take me long).

  I took my left hand out of my pocket and covered her hand over my mouth. I kissed her fingers and nodded. It was as close to supplication as I could come without making a groveling ass of myself. It wasn’t pride—it was stratagem. If I had thought groveling would get Livvie into my car, I would have made a good show of it. I’m shameless.

  Slowly, Livvie pulled her hand away from my mouth and curled her fingers around mine. She shook her head and smiled ruefully.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing either, Caleb. I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve put certain aspects of my life on hold, thinking—hoping that one day you’d find me again. And now you’re here and I have to be honest… it’s freaking me out.”

  I stepped closer to her. I was elated when she didn’t take a step back. Her hand was warm in mine and her red lips were simply begging to be kissed again. She’d caught me off guard with the first one. I was desperate to make the second kiss last.

  “I know. I don’t expect you to trust me, but, Livvie, I would never do anything to hurt you again. Just give me a chance to prove it. How can I prove it to you?” I couldn’t resist the urge to stroke her bronzed shoulder. She looked like a goddess. She looked like sex on silky legs. Her kitten tongue, just like I remembered it, swept her bottom lip as she pondered her response. “You’re killing me with that, Livvie.”

  Her head tilted to one side.

  “Killing you with what?”

  I took a chance and tugged her a little closer. I removed my other hand from my pocket and let my thumb run across the curved bow of her lips. We swallowed.

  “I want to kiss you again, but I’m afraid I’ll scare you away.” I took a step back when she tensed. “So I won’t.”

  It was almost more than I cared to take. The impulsive man in me that was used to getting what he wanted at any cost was tempted to take control.

  I realize you’ve somehow been lulled into believing my baser urges had been overcome, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth at the time. I had spent the year prior to our reunion righting old wrongs, and sometimes it had meant being the man Rafiq had raised me to be.

  “How did you find me, Caleb?” Livvie’s voice was small and her fear irritated me because I knew she had a right to it. She cared about me. She wouldn’t have shown up if she didn’t, but I hated her trepidation just the same.

  “What do you want me to say? You know who I am. Y
ou know what I do.” I let go of her hand before she had a chance to pull away from me again. The night was quickly going to shit. I was glad she didn’t have me arrested, but I hadn’t really planned for a scenario involving lust and incredible awkwardness.

  “Hey,” she whispered. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m happy to see you, I am! But if you found me… what makes you think someone else can’t?”

  I felt like an idiot.

  “It wasn’t easy. If it weren’t for our conversations, the things I know about you, I don’t think I would have found you. You’re safe, Livvie. No one’s coming for you. I swear it.” I didn’t mention that I’d killed anyone who would have bothered.

  “What things?” she asked. I could hear the hesitation in her voice.

  “Do you really want to know, Livvie? Because once you know, I can’t take it back.” I let my eyes meet hers. I was willing to do a lot of things to win her, but she had to accept the harsh truth that I wasn’t a man who played by society’s rules and I never would be.

  “Did you hurt anyone?” Her eyes implored me to say no.

  “No,” I said honestly. I even managed a flirtatious smile. She smiled back.

  “Then I guess I don’t need to know.” She reached for my hand and tugged me in the direction we had been walking.

  “This still doesn’t solve the problem of what we’re going to do when we get to my car.”

  “Is it a stick shift?”

  “Of course. Why? Did you finally learn to drive?” I laughed at the memory of her admitting she couldn’t drive. I laughed even harder when she scowled at me and playfully hit my shoulder.

  “Asshole.”

  “Aww, you like it when I tease you.”

  “No. I don’t.”

  “Then why are you smiling?” I whispered the words in her ear as we walked. All became right in my world when I felt her nudge me with her shoulder and her hand held mine a little tighter. The void in me sighed. I had found a way to feed it.